You Never Give Up On Family

I’m all alone in my small and chilly Guatemalan apartment. I can’t sleep because there is a Spanish, heavy metal concert a few blocks away. The last thing I did before I snuggled under my stack of blankets was check on Facebook updates. I was laying here praying, tearing up, as I usually do when I’m talking to God for some reason. This week I have been overwhelmed by the uncountable blessings in my life. But it also feels like I’ve also gotten a huge dose of news of tragedy and hardship—deaths, miscarriages, debt, Black Friday tramplings. How can there be a God when so many bad things happen? All you have to do is walk the streets, scroll through any social media, turn on the news for 2 minutes. How in the world can there be a God? And if there is one—this is one heck of a way to show his love for us.

I’ve seen numerous statuses lately that have said, “I’ve lost all faith in humanity,” or “my faith in humanity has been restored.” Humanity cannot and will not be restored by good or kind deeds. We shouldn’t ever have any faith in humanity, because we are inherently evil and selfish and greedy. Have you ever seen a toddler hit his sibling? Did you wonder where he learned that? He didn’t need to. Slavery and racism is not a thing we learn about in history class, it happens daily, all over the world. People are homeless and starving and sleep on the sidewalk in this country. A student thinks it’s funny her maid has to use the outhouse. Children spend time in ATM booths begging for food or money. Elderly women whose legs and feet are shriveled beyond recognition sit on a busy sidewalk hoping for even a cent.

I do not need to strive for selfishness or pride, it comes 100% naturally. Positive thoughts just don’t happen on their own for me. Even as a teacher, patience and kindness is not my first nature. I have the title of a missionary. I know so many people that do wonderful things in third world countries. So many people feed the poor around the holidays. These are all great things and things I believe we are called to do. However, there is no point to any of these things if there is not a huge, saving, all powerful God.

As I grow up and am further released from my comfort zone, I see a world that is so clearly damaged. A world that will trample a man to death to go get that TV on sale. A world where people die of drug overdoses. Where a man will murder dozens of children. I am a citizen of a country that is swimming in debt. How can we possibly blame those things on anyone but ourselves? WE are the ones that have created the wars, the drugs, the technology, the want for more.

If you’ve ever read the Old Testament or know vaguely what it’s about, it’s a solid reflection of human nature. I believe it is not and will never be outdated. The behaviors of the Israelites over and over reflect exactly who we are. We are blessed and we still worship idols and insist on doing life our own way. God isn’t King enough in our life so we appoint our own.

Despite all of these misfortunes, there IS a real God. And despite what you might think, He DOES love us. He loves us so much in fact that He DESIRES a relationship with us even though we constantly choose things and others over him. These tragedies don’t reflect a small, weak God. They reflect our great, deep need of a true and mighty God. There is a line from the great show Breaking Bad, where the father of a drug-addict says, you never give up on family. God created us and He will never give up on us.

I am thankful for a job that I love. I am thankful for incredible friends and family near and far away. I am thankful for a warm home on these cold nights. I’m thankful for a fiancé that loves and serves God. I am thankful for seven wonderful ladies who have agreed to be bridesmaids in my wedding. I am thankful for the dozens of people that love Sean and I that want to come to our wedding. But more than all these things, I am thankful for a God that not only tolerates me, but loves me. Desires me. Pursues me. A Savior that died so that I could be with Him in heaven. I am thankful for the reminders that He is all that matters in spite of a crazy job, living in a third world country, struggling to pay for plane tickets, students that don’t always listen, earthquakes, endless street noises, and sickness. He is bigger. He is stronger. He hasn’t and he won’t give up on us. Nunca una vez.

We're ENGAGED!

Well, this has been a very big week. If you would've asked me a year and a half ago if I thought I'd meet the man I was going to marry when I moved to Guatemala, I would have said no. But, God had slightly different plans than I intended and I not only came down here to teach, but to meet and fall in love with this guy named Sean.

A week ago, he asked me to marry him. I'm sure everyone will want to know how he did it, so here it is. 

It was a cloudy, lazy Sunday afternoon and we decided to take a walk just to get outside. To me we were walking aimlessly and we even ran into our friend Sarah and chatted with her for a bit. About a year ago, when we were both living in host families, the houses were very close. He frequently walked me home and we would stand outside talking for a while. This was really how we got to know each other. This was also the area where we officially started dating and where we kissed for the first time. Also, this is the spot that he first told me he loved me. We were standing in this spot when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I can't remember his exact words, but I think I said yes before he even asked. 

This special corner will forever be etched in our memories. To any passerby, this corner embodies a filthy, third-world country. It's a partly paved, partly eaten away sidewalk against a crumbling concrete wall with graffiti on it. One will frequently find dog feces on this corner and who knows, maybe even human feces as well. It's gross and I'm very proud of Sean for kneeling in it.

We are so very happy and very excited to get married. We don't have specific details on location or date just yet, but we will soon. We also have no solid plans yet for next year regarding staying in Guatemala or not. Thank you for the many prayers and we would very much appreciate continued prayer as we embark on this journey together.

The corner where he proposed.

A close up of the graffiti, "Give peace a chance!"

My beauuuuutiful ring.

The sunset on November 10, 2013, the night of our engagement.

This is how I told my class the next morning.

This was how far they guessed until they were able to solve it. They were jumping out of their seats to answer.

This is how we told the staff. Our co-workers are so supportive. But really, they are.

Fall

Fall is going so fast. Less than six weeks until I'm home for Brooke's graduation from Texas A&M. School is going very well but keeping busy.

On October 1, Guatemala celebrated Children's Day. This consisted of a lunch party where our room moms brought in pizza and lots of sweets. The kids loved it of course.

Third graders and me.

Enjoying their pizza.

This weekend we celebrated All Saint's Day. Tradition is that everyone gets off school and work and visits deceased loved ones in the cemetery. They decorate their graves with flowers and wreaths and spend time honoring them. Families often eat Fiambre--which is a cold, traditional salad. It is a Guatemalan favorite. Fiambre means "cold meat," also meaning a corpse. It's cold so that they can eat it throughout the day in the cemetery. Because we were in El Salvador last year, I didn't really get to see this holiday celebrated. We visited the cemetery in Xela for the first time (first time for me) and it was huge and decked out. We spent some time flying kites and just hanging out. To my own surprise, it was a joyful celebration in and around the cemetery. People were not somber, but celebrating the lives of those passed.

My neighbors flying a kite.

We have been doing an earth science unit the last month or so in Science. It has been a blast to teach it and my kids have been loving it. I can't imagine having this much fun teaching earthquakes and volcanoes to students. My kids have been eager to learn how earthquakes happen, because they feel them so much. We talked about the Ring of Fire, and a student excitedly called out, "that's why we have so many earthquakes we're RIGHT BY the Ring of Fire!" I loved it. It was great actually using specific earthquakes and aftershocks they've felt as examples in their learning.

Checking out some rocks.

"Miss Ellsworth, it's precipitating!"

This is a simulation of how rain clouds form. They were surprised they needed about 100 drops of food coloring before it actually rained in the cup!

Building model homes out of toothpicks and mini-marshmallows. Then they were tested out on the earthquake to see who wins (a pan of JELL-O)

This last week a handful of teachers and me missed school and traveled to Guatemala City to apply for our missionary visas at the Office of Migration. Everything went safely and very smoothly. We should be getting them in about 3 months.

Thank you for your prayers. Life is good. I love this class and love being a part of this school. Please be praying for wisdom and guidance for Sean's and my positions here next year. The time is coming to start seriously thinking about that. God bless!!


The small things....

Third grade 2013-2014

Giant huge moths like our apartments.

Not sure if you can see this, but a man is painting with an impossibly long stick from the roof. And it's about to start raining.

Tiny explosion. Sunset.